On self confidence

I’m part of a writer’s group. There are about 5 of us who show up every week and there are a few more who come every now and then. We get a prompt every week and we have to write a short story or essay or article and incorporate the prompt – be it a word or picture or concept – into the piece.

I always leave the meetings really inspired but then when I sit down and start to write, I feel really deflated. I have to really work myself up to actually writing anything because I always feel like I’m not a good enough writer to really tell the story I want to tell.

I usually need a glass of wine before I can really get into it. When I’m trying to write something I always have the same feeling I get when I’m trying to impress a date or do well on an interview, which is stupid because my friends in the group have been so supportive and positive about my submissions so far and we’ve been meeting every week for six months or so.

I just wish I didn’t constantly feel like such a fraud. I have real trouble calling myself a writer, even though I spend most of my free time writing or thinking about writing or reading or reading about writing and it’s the only thing that really makes me feel motivated lately.

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